Getting over your bad date
When thinking about your bad date, it’s important to remember that pretty much everyone will have some good dates in their lifetime. But, unfortunately, you might have some bad ones too… So, the next time you come home, crying, screaming or even just silent in shock, after a date you wish you’d never even considered – don’t forget that you’re not alone.
After a bad date, you might be angry at the other person – or yourself – or both. But, there’s no point lying in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, do something to get rid of the feeling and feel normal again. Forget about that date that won’t matter at all in a few years, or even a few months time.
If it were me, I’d climb a mountain. If you’re used to climbing a mountain, pick a hard steep one. This would totally get your mind off your date and you can sweat of your anger at the same time. The sense of achievement when you reach the top, dripping with sweat and deserving a huge chocolate bar, will make you feel amazing.
My old secondary teacher from North Wales (in her forties, with plenty of dating experience) once told me “pick a mountain with a great view from the top, because when you look down and see how tiny everything is, you will realise that your problem is so tiny”.
Mountains have been on earth long before our existence, and they will still be here when we’re long gone. It puts everything into perspective, doesn’t it? It makes you realise, as depressing as it sounds, that humans don’t really have much effect on the earth, or on the universe. If you look up at the stars on a clear night and just see how large and endless the galaxy really is, compared to how small you and your date problems are, its definitely going to help. This also helped me to get out my anger after studying for a GCSE Maths exam….
If exercise isn’t the thing for you, try listening to extremely loud music and dancing around insanely (like Meredith and Christina on Grey’s Anatomy). Taylor Swift has said that “people haven’t always been there for me but music always has”. Having listened to a fair amount of Taylor Swift songs, it seems that she has also had a few bad dates… But she has used this to her advantage and made millions out of singing about them.
You might not be the next Taylor Swift, but you can use bad dates to your advantage too. Everything is an experience, or a story to tell. It might make your friends laugh, or make them feel better about their own bad dates. One of my favourite quotes is “regret nothing: if it’s good, its good. If its bad, it’s experience”.
Cosmo Landesman and Dolly Alderton of the Sunday Times don’t worry too much if they’ve had a bad date because they can write about it in their columns on the last page of The Times’ Sunday fashion magazine – Style. Cosmo, 60, has proposed and been turned down at least five times, but he’s still looking for love and still goes on dates – the good and the bad. In his last column, he wrote that his worst date has been when someone in the street shouted at his date, asking if Cosmo was her grandfather. I can’t imagine anything more embarassing, but it hasn’t stopped Cosmo meeting and going on other dates, and it does make for funny story telling. Dolly, in her twenties, is single, but still going on dates, and like Cosmo, likes writing about them. So next time you’re feeling down, maybe buy a copy of the Sunday Times and read their columns. It might just make you feel better.
Dates are always going to be a little bit awkward and embarassing. It’s hard for them not to be when both people are probably a little nervous and perhaps never even met each other before. But if your date is worth it, they’re going to verlook these little things, and want to see you again. If not then forget them. A bad date can sometimes be the best date. They are the ones where everything goes wrong but the two people still want to see each other again.
Try and think of it as “everything is meant to be”. If a date is as, then maybe you’re just not meant for that person. Maybe it will work out in the future, or maybe it won’t. But for now, it’s best to just let it be and think about other things. Getting over a bad date should be easy, because it was only one date, compared to many many others you will go on in the future. As the old saying goes “there’s plenty more fish in the sea”.
Have you had any awful dates? Let us know in the comment section below!
Photo: Flickr / Guian Bolisay