50 Shades of Not for Me


Although the excitement surrounding the ’50 Shades’ series would suggest that many people perceive the ‘Dominant’/‘Submissive’ lifestyle as fun and intriguing, there are however some elements to it that are troubling.

For example, the ‘Dominant’ or ‘Dom’ takes the active role within the relationship, asserting authority and rules upon the ‘Sub’. This can often include physical or even in some cases psychological control. This blatantly suggests an imbalance of power, an imbalance that admittedly the ‘Sub’ has consented to. This does not however make this control that some may refer to as ‘abusive’, any less concerning. Additionally, the connotations of being a ‘Sub’ suggests a certain passivity and with this I feel there will always be a lack of consent to a certain degree. Your role as a ‘Submissive’ is to serve and obey the ‘Dominant’, a role I would personally find degrading. Particularly as often the role of the ‘Dominant’ is to ‘humiliate’ the ‘Sub’. I recently saw a post about a woman who actively performs within a ‘Dominant’/‘Submissive’ relationship joke about her ‘Daddy’ dragging her around by her hair and informing her that she “doesn’t need her to be conscious”, which is disturbing and again raises the question of consent.

The role of the ‘Dominant’ is typically taken up by a man, and the ‘Submissive’ a woman, however the roles are interchangeable. I can’t help but associate this lifestyle with a theme that has been recurring within the porn industry for years; women are there to serve men’s sexual needs. However, this is merely my opinion on the negative sides of the lifestyle. If both participants are safe and obtain communication throughout, then it should not be treated any differently from any other sexual preferences.


Photo: Flickr & Tumblr

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