Normalising Abuse – It’s not ok, hun.

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We’ve all seen the gifs on social media detailing the following themes: ‘my boyfriend didn’t reply to me so I threw his PlayStation out of the window’; ‘when he doesn’t respond for 30 seconds so you dump him’; ‘when you’re bored so you start an argument with him for no reason’, the list goes on. It got me thinking, surely I cannot be the only one who sees this blasé attitude to emotional abuse unsettling? When did it become so trendy and normal to desperately want to conform to the stereotype of the ‘psycho girlfriend/boyfriend’?

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For those of us that have genuinely been with people that said the kinds of things mentioned previously, it is baffling to see people actively going out of their way to be seen as this kind of person. The gifs and memes (again, sorry for sounding like your IT teacher at school) usually come with some kind of visual proof as well, such as text messages showing the reaction from the other party. A lot of the time, the responsive texts from the other half are reasonably confused and questioning, but most of the time they are unsettlingly accepting. Apologetic, even. Is this really what their lives are like, all the time, for the sake of somebody keeping up appearances on an Instagram account with the bio ‘men are trash’? It has almost become a culture, with girls banding together and tagging their long-suffering partners in the comments with the laughing emoji, the comment stating ‘this is deffo me isn’t it hun’. Am I the only person that sees those comments and feels sorry for hun? Hun did not ask for this when they entered into the relationship. Hun is being emotionally abused and manipulated on a regular basis and has to see it as a joke because, well, men are trash. And that makes it funny to make those of them that may not be trash feel like shit anyway.

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Of course, there is always the chance that this is a one-off incident purely created for social media validation, which is a totally different thing. However, this in itself is questionable- should we really be finding this kind of thing funny? I’m sure that there are a lot of people reading this right now thinking, if my partner said anything like that to me, I’d end it with them immediately. Yeah, me too, because starting an argument for no reason is not acceptable behaviour. Arguments, for most people, are traumatic and emotionally draining experiences, possibly leaving them damaged for days. I have personally always been wary of people that clearly enjoy them, and avoid them wherever possible. Who wouldn’t? If you’re bored, read a book, start a tap dancing class, don’t make the person you’re with feel horrible for your own entertainment and need for attention. Normalising abusive behaviour is one of the weirder social media trends I’ve seen, and one that needs to end fast.

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Images from Google (seriously, that’s how many of these things there are).

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